EXT. STREET, DAY
REAGAN is walking along on a nondescript sidewalk. He is frumpy, beta male and nowhere near threatening to anybody. He started to narrate to himself, without looking at the camera.
REAGAN
We are all the hero of our own story. The hero that overcomes adversity. Beats the odds. Saves the day. We believe our choices are the right ones…for ourselves and those we connect with. And it’s important that we all agree on what’s right, so that we all live in harmony.
He stops and looks at the camera.
REAGAN
The problem is, real life is not so simple…
CUT TO:
EXT STREET, BENCH, DAY
He walks past an old man sitting on a park bench, his head in his hands, and his little dog on a leash barking at him.
REAGAN
…and you could end up being the villain in other stories.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET, BUS STOP, DAY
REAGAN walks past a bus stop with a group of friends as they’re fighting, ripping clothes and bashing at their heads.
REAGAN
And when that happens, trying to be a hero seems impossible…
EXT. STREET, COFFEE SHOP WINDOW, DAY
REAGAN walks past a coffee shop. Through the window, we see a depressed man, while his partner puts down her cappucino and looks at him.
WOMAN (SUBTITLE)
I hope you fucking die.
REAGAN
…and it’s all you can do just to survive real life.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET, CORNER SHOP, DAY
REAGAN steps in front of a corner shop, to talk to the camera.
REAGAN
And when you believe that’s all you’re capable of, the easiest solution is to cut off all connections. Avoid drama with your loved ones, colleagues and friends. You turn inward, push people away, dwell on the what-if’s and could’ve’s. Focus only on your primal needs of comfort like food and sex. (Beat) Never exploring the real problem…you dealing with your emotions.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET, SIDEWALK, DAY
He continues down the street, narrating to himself.
REAGAN
Sometimes I wish it was just simple. You find a relationship and the hard part is over. The issues are gone and you just enjoy it. No work to do. Have fun with it. Where can we find that?
REAGAN suddenly stops, backs up a little and looks to his side at a shop.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE SHOP, DAY
He is standing in front of a store called RELATIONSHOP. The advertising is bold and blatant like “GET A CONNECTION IN SECONDS”, “FIND YOUR PERFECT MATCH”, “IT’S SO EASY.” REAGAN peeks in.
CUT TO:
INT. SHOP, DAY
We see the SALESMAN standing in front of a counter accessing an iPad. He stands up straight and wearing a fitted suit, his pale skin and blonde hair makes him look more artificial than human. The store is quite bare, with pale walls and non-descript furniture that gives it more of a futuristic. look that contrasts the normal day outside. He looks up and makes eye contact with REAGAN but doesn’t react.
CUT TO:
INT. SHOP, WINDOW, DAY
REAGAN hesitates at first and walks away shyly.
CUT TO:
INT. SHOP, DAY
The SALESMAN holds for a moment, then continues to read his iPad.
CUT TO:
INT. SHOP, DOORWAY
After a beat, REAGAN appears and opens the door to the shop, stepping in and closing the door behind him. He lingers, uncertain what to do, ready to leap away at the first sign of danger. The SALESMAN puts his iPad down.
SALEMAN
Hello sir.
REAGAN
(Nervously)
Hi.
SALESMAN
Welcome to the Relationshop, the flagship store from Propinquus Consumer Systems. How can I help you today?
REAGAN
You have a nice shop.
SALESMAN
Thank you, it also comes in blue. Can I offer you a cup of coffee?
SALESMAN produces a small coffee and saucer from below the counter. REAGAN eyes the coffee and proceeds forward. Relaxing more, he picks up the coffee and takes a sip.
REAGAN
How does this work exactly?
SALESMAN
We sell relationships.
A flashing presentation of light and colour appears above, startling REAGAN.
SALESMAN
You enter with the air of a man seeking a wonderful connection with that special someone. We understand how hard it is, so we take all the guesswork, groundwork and paperwork, and place you straight into a relationship that works for you.
REAGAN
(Looks uncertain)
Uh-huh.
SALESMAN
Normally we’re the experts, but a client may already have…expectations. Have you got anything in mind?
REAGAN
I’m not sure. Something not scary, I suppose?
SALESMAN
Do you want to have a look at what we’ve got on special this morning?
REAGAN
Yes, yes please.
SALESMAN presses a button and a “hologram” of a tall, handsome guy appears.
SALESMAN
This is the “best friend” model. Not shy, reliable, funny and also has your back. You’ll go out and drink beers with him, play tag rugby, go on road trips to faraway places and watch movies together. He’ll also be your wing-man.
REAGAN
Wing-man?
SALESMAN
Yes, a love-seeking companion, like Top Gun but without the homoeroticism. When you’re searching for that special someone, he’ll be there helping you with those corny one-liners and making you feel confident. We do tend to get returns though.
REAGAN
Why?
SALESMAN
Some customers say he’s too good a wing-man. He ends up staring at you when you’ve brought a girl home and may cock-block you. Let’s consider another option.
SALESMAN presses another button on the counter and a “hologram” of a beautiful woman appears beside him.
SALESMAN (CONT’D)
This is one of our more popular options, a “beautiful woman”. She has all the best features you can expect from such a product: great looks, a stunning physique, great energy and an amazing social life. She’ll take you out and make you dance for hours, making you feel 10 years younger.
REAGAN
What about a great personality, caring, honesty, no expectations?
SALESMAN
Sorry, those don’t come pre-installed. Those are charged extra.
REAGAN
Oh.
SALESMAN
Maybe you want something a little less strenuous?
SALESMAN presses a button and a “hologram” of an older woman appears.
REAGAN
Who is she?
SALESMAN
She…is your mother.
In the unfocussed background, a stranger enters the shop and begins to browse the around.
REAGAN
(Cough) my what?
SALESMAN
What could be your mother, a top-of-the-line, caregiving bestseller. Many customers love to rekindle a relationship so close, and our product stands the test of time. She’s a keen listener, loves to feed you, consistently complains about the neighbours and gives advice about every part of your life.
REAGAN stares up at the hologram, frozen in shock. The stranger continues to wander around.
SALESMAN
You’ll be guaranteed to find a message in your phone from her every day asking “how are you” and “I hope you’re doing great”. We’ve also managed to filter out the neediness implicit in so many parental relationships like “why haven’t you come to visit?” and “when are you giving me grandchildren”.
DAN
Don’t forget, “did you hear what your sister said?” That one too.
REAGAN turns around, his face shocked.
REAGAN
Dan?
DAN
Brother, fancy seeing you here.
REAGAN stands frozen. He’s really unsure how to proceed, but inside he’s screaming with the urge to take flight.
DAN
How are you?
REAGAN
(Stutters)
I was just…I was, like you…haha, umm, what are you going here?
DAN
Me, here? Well, I was…just checking up on you. Mom had asked me if Reagan was ok so I was concerned. I left work and found you by the park, then you walked off, got outside here and played this little charade of “will he, won’t he”. What are you doing here?
REAGAN
I…I don’t know.
DAN
You don’t know?
SALESMAN oversees the conversation and feels a little overwhelmed with it in his shop. He interrupts their flow.
SALESMAN
Sirs…would you like to consider some of our other options?
SALESMAN presses buttons and starts showing a variety of options.
SALESMAN
Maybe a puppy? A female best friend? Your boss? A local shopkeeper that offers you discounts?
Both DAN and REAGAN look away from the SALESMAN, DAN directly at his brother while REAGAN looks sheepishly away.
DAN
You know this is a place to buy a new relationship, right? You want to buy one, Reagan? What’s wrong with the ones you have now, huh? Mom, your sister, your friends, me?
REAGAN
You?! (Incredulously) I mean, dude, you’re never…you’re never…
DAN
I’m never what?
REAGAN
Nothing.
DAN
Nothing? Reagan, why are you here? Are we not good enough for you?
REAGAN
No.
DAN
So what is this?
REAGAN
I’m just…I feel a little lonely.
DAN
Ok, that’s fair, but why not then give me a call?
REAGAN
You’re always busy.
SALESMAN tries to find a way to take their argument outside.
SALESMAN
Sirs, might I suggest…
DAN/REAGAN
(In unison)
No!
DAN
Yes, I’m busy sometimes, I’ve got a job that needs me to travel, I’m sorry. I’ve got to provide for Sarah and the kids. I can’t be there for you 24/7. Don’t try and make me feel guilt for something I need to do.
REAGAN
Sure, sure, of course, sorry.
DAN
No, no you’re not. I can see it, ever since the wedding. You seemed withdrawn. I wanted you as my best man and you said no. You wouldn’t even usher, you just stood in the corner.
REAGAN looks embarrassed.
REAGAN
C’mon man, I didn’t sit in the corner.
DAN
Yes you did. You sulked like a baby. What is it with you? Huh? Why are’t you happy?
REAGAN
What? Umm…
DAN
C’mon man. You’ve been like this for years now. And I’ve reached out to you. I’ve messaged you. You never responded.
REAGAN
I…I don’t know.
DAN
What did I do, Reagan? What did I do to deserve losing my brother? My best friend? Where did you go?
REAGAN
I wasn’t the one that went anywhere.
DAN
What’s that? Speak up.
REAGAN
(Gets annoyed)
Hey! Don’t tell me to speak up.
DAN
Oh, big man, nowwww you speak up. Where was that attitude before, huh? Why didn’t you say anything before? And now you think you can get annoyed with us? Who do you think you are?
REAGAN stays silent, contemplative. He looks around at the hologram of the “mom” staring out into space, the SALESMAN trying his best to act small behind his counter.
REAGAN
You know what, Dan? I know who I am. I’m your brother. Always have been. And if I was sulky in the corner, if you felt like you lost me, hurt that I never responded to your messages…it’s because you weren’t my brother. You grew up with mom and dad, with Jenny. But when I was around, you guys left, and mom and dad were old. So I was alone. I didn’t have a brother, or a sister. Just people I knew.
DAN
(Incredulously)
What are you talking about?
REAGAN
I’ll be honest, I came here because I felt lonely. I missed you, our sister, our parents…not because you were gone. You weren’t even there. Just…a thought, a fact. And all I felt was being alone, with no one to turn to. And now, staring at THAT thing (hologram) and having another fight with you, I’ve got only one truth.
REAGAN moves to the front door.
REAGAN
All I want, is to sit down with a cup of coffee. So you can join me and we can talk…or you can fuck off.
REAGAN heads to the door.
REAGAN
You want a cup of coffee somewhere?
DAN
Are you kidding me? Fuck off, dude.
REAGAN smiles and exits.
DAN
Hey, don’t come crying back to us when you’re feeling a little lonely again! Crybaby!
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET, OUTSIDE SHOP
DAN exits the store, looking annoyed and walks off. SALESMAN exits the shop to shout at both of them.
SALESMAN
What about a group of friends? 20% off when you buy in bulk?!
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET, SIDEWALK
DAN, walking, takes out his phone.
DAN
Hi…yeah, tried to speak to him but he’s being a baby again. He ran off.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET, SIDEWALK
REAGAN is walking in the opposite direction, his head a little higher as he feels lighter, smiling.
DAN (V.O.)
Oh, some bullshit about us not being around and him being alone. (Pause) I don’t know, who knows. He’s messed up, that’s all.
EXT. STREET, COFFEE SHOP, WINDOW
REAGAN walks into the coffee shop, ordering a cappuccinos. The boyfriend is nearby and alone, crying.
FADE OUT.